Greetings to the Father, Angels and saints in Christ. There is more to be said on the topic of treating your mate as if you have met them for the first time. These include practical things that include extending to the mate the courtesies of being polite, saying thank you, please, excuse me, giving gifts, treating the person with favor that you would not give to a parent, child, friend, sibling, boss etc.

Your mate must supersede all others in the favor which you show so that the heart of the individual will indeed safely trust in you. You can talk with your mate to determine what pleases him or her the most, but the Lord is saying that I must move on to the second point of keeping the fire in marriage.

This is TO SET THE MOOD AND TURN YOUR MATE ON. I dealt with some of this in the previous post in terms of the wife’s response to the husband. The Lord says that He wants to talk to the men. Let’s read Eph 5: 21-32 which says that we must submit:

“one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church”.

Men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. Think of Christ’s supreme sacrifice in becoming poor so that we might become rich. In other words, He put His self interests aside for our best interest. How could you do that in your marriage? Men are taught that the wife is really his body in the same way that Adam said “flesh of my flesh and bone of my bones!” Yet Paul is not solely referring to Adam here but to the Lord and His church.

Christ is the head of His church and we are “members of body, of his flesh, and of his bones”. God took that woman Eve out of Adam in a physical and spiritual sense. This is why the word says “wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (Mt 19:6; Mar 10:9).

Why do the scriptures say that God joined Adam and Eve together when she was taken out of him? Eve became Adam’s Siamese twin by virtue of origin. If you are separated from your Siamese twin, you would die. Eve was taken from his side. Was she taken from his liver? Heart? Lung? God had to take out the rib to get to Eve!

What does that mean? Some vital organ was involved in her creation since the ribs protect vital organs in the thorax. What was the point that God was trying to make in the creation of Eve? The husband is commanded to love the wife, to nourish and cherish her. This means, in my limited understanding, that he is to value the wife, make inputs into her, treat her better than he would treat his car, spend time polishing her, feed her with the emotional food/approval that she desires.

Cherish (Strong’s 2282) means that the husband must warm the wife, keep her warm, cherish her with tender love and foster with tender care. He therefore has to treat her tenderly and not roughly, not beating up on her verbally or dragging her about like an old sack. He must treat her like a queen.

The role of nourishing the wife to maturity (strong’s 1625), means that the husband is like a gardener who waters a plant and feeds it with the right soil and protects it from the climatic conditions so that it would grow. What kind of emotional climate are you providing for the wife? Is she just a sex object? Do you desire her only at bedtime or do you spend time with her, inputting your wisdom, knowledge, understanding, revelation into her so that she would grow as a person and grow in Christ? This is the role of Christ to the church.

Look at how He gives gifts of the Spirit, wisdom, understanding to His church! Men, your role is more important than you think. You are more than a breadwinner, lover and father. You set the mood in the marriage and have the power to heal the body by your grace and mercy. God expects men to possess the maturity and grace of the Lord so that your wife could become all that you desire her to be, but the process is a skillful one and not to be carried out by a novice.

Blessings and more to come!