Greetings to the Father, Angels and saints in Christ. While I wonder briefly about the reaction of the readers to the contents of the blog, I must continue to expose the truth. Since Delilah and others have worn us out with their schemes, I will now talk about how some other women got what they wanted without scheming. Now when I talk about how to get something from a man, I am not talking about frivolous things like money for your next dress, hairstyle etc. I am talking about issues related to life and death, the outcome of the future/destiny etc.

Esther was faced with a dilemma related to the imminent extermination of her people by mass murder in a devious scheme executed by Haman, one of her husband’s chiefs. Esther, by the way, means star while Haman means magnificent (he really did think that he was magnificent). You really do need to read the entire book in order to get the full gist of the story. The point is, however, that Haman devised this plot to kill the Jews because of his hatred of Esther’s cousin, the Jew Mordecai, who had refused to bow and worship him. Esther’s husband did not know that she was a Jew since her cousin had asked her not to let on. Esther knew that Haman had engineered the plot to make the king sign the mass murder into law. It was impossible to revoke the law once it was written into the books of statutes.

These are Mordecai’s words to Esther when he told her about the plot (Esther 4: 13 – 17) –

“Then Mordecai commanded to answer Esther, Think not with thyself that thou shalt escape in the king’s house, more than all the Jews.

For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father’s house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?

Then Esther bade them return Mordecai this answer, Go, gather together all the Jews that are present in Shushan, and fast ye for me, and neither eat nor drink three days, night or day:

I also and my maidens will fast likewise; and so will I go in unto the king, which is not according to the law: and if I perish, I perish.

So Mordecai went his way, and did according to all that Esther had commanded him”.

See her first line of defense? It was to fast and pray. She needed to get the king to do something about the decree and she relied only on divine help. She fasted and prayed and gathered help.

Let’s get down to reality. What do you do when your husband makes a decision (a decree) that you feel in your heart is not right?

A lot of you women are already sucking your teeth, unbelieving that this is the first line of action. Ok then, you can keep on with the nagging, harassing, giving the cold shoulder etc. How far does this get you? You call your mother on the phone then every one in your family is involved and giving the man the cold shoulder.

Well, I actually know a friend who takes it to the Lord in prayer. Leave the issue alone (don’t nag) and love him. Grit your teeth if you find him to be unresponsive to tender entreaties and sharing of your opinion. You may say that I have no husband and what do I know? Well, the same techniques work for any kind of conflict. I also know of a friend who successfully uses the F and P approach with her husband.

I will talk in another post about the spirit of meekness,

but it is the spirit of meekness that will let you bite your tongue when you want to give him a piece of your mind.

It is the spirit of meekness that will keep your speech graceful and seasoned with salt when you want to put him in his place (as wrong as he may be).

It is the spirit of meekness which is the same peg on the fruit of the spirit that will allow you to forbear from retaliation when you are right and the other is wrong.

It is the spirit of meekness that will allow you to hold your peace like the Lord who did not answer a word to Pilate because he knew that it was a waste of time.

In my own experience, I started with nursing students, holding my tongue when I wanted to tell them off. It adds a lot of peace to tense relationships. Wait until you are alone in your private place and let it all out to the Lord and the angels. It works. Just talk to them as if you are in the situation.

Anyway, Esther fasted and prayed. What else do you think she could have done? She had to break the law in order to see the king and make her request on behalf of her people. Her life was at stake. The future of her nation was at stake. Let’s move on. Are you biting your nails? Sweating with the tension? What is your situation?

The second thing is that she found a divinely appointed strategy for going in to the king. This is what Esther 5: 1-2 says –

“Now it came to pass on the third day, that Esther put on her royal apparel, and stood in the inner court of the king’s house, over against the king’s house:

and the king sat upon his royal throne in the royal house, over against the gate of the house.

And it was so, when the king saw Esther the queen standing in the court, that she obtained favour in his sight:

and the king held out to Esther the golden sceptre that was in his hand. So Esther drew near, and touched the top of the sceptre.”

First of all, she approached the king in her royal apparel. She was all dignified, not shouting and screaming like Michal. She stood deferentially in the inner court, not appearing to be grovelling, but with the dignity that befitted her status as queen. Do you whine and beg for the favor that you want?

She got into the king’s presence, going where her was and into his territory. The glory of the Lord was upon her. Her meek and quiet spirit that had caused her to become queen shone out of her exterior. The king was enchanted. He thought to himself,

“here is my darling wife. I have not seen her for days. Isn’t she a queen? Look at her posture, her beauty, her dress. Where did she get that dress? Doesn’t it fit her perfectly? And the colors! She is simply beautiful! Wow!”

He couldn’t get enough of her, so he leaned closer to see and decided to give her half of his kingdom, forgetting that she had broken the law to get to him. The nobles let out their breath in amazement because they could not go through the search for another queen and besides, they liked Esther, although they were not quite sure why.

The scriptures say that Esther obtained favor in the sight of the king. Halelujah! He extended his scepter and accepted his invitation come to dinner and to bring Haman with him. I do not want to be mean to the dear King, but Esther had him eating out of her hand. This is only divine favor. This is the power of a spirit filled woman who is indwelt by the fullness of Christ.

This is not a power that is given to every woman, because some women are Delilahs. Delilahs are really feeble and they just cannot cope with the responsibility that goes with this kind of favor.

This is not the favor to gloat over, but the favor to protect.

If you are a user, a person who always seeks things from the people in your power, God will not give you this kind of favor or even this kind of king because you will destroy him.

Samson was a king in his right. He judged Israel, but connected with the wrong woman and look at where it got him. See what I mean. Her appeal must have been sexual in nature or the Philistines would not have paid her handsomely to use her enticements to trap Samson. She sounds as if she was familiar with her job. You have to be tried and tested by God in a general sense before he takes you into the dimension of the anointing that will earn you the favor of the king. This is an anointing that changes the times and seasons and changes destiny. This was essentially Esther’s task since she was fighting against the stronghold called the prince of Persia. This kind of favor is really the favor that the anointed ones receive from God and man, Jesus Himself being the perfect example.

Esther’s second strategy was to rouse the king’s curiosity. She could not just dump the issue on him right away. She had to set the scene. In a way, she used her enticements, but it was a more delicately engineered, non sexual way of rousing his attention. She prepared an elaborate banquet in which she would serve wine and food that would have them sated and more ready for the kill. On the day that she went into his inner court, she had to test the waters or she could be dead and where would her people be? She was a woman of great wisdom. She was really setting up Haman by inviting him to the feast, because she had studied him and realized that he was a man full of his self importance and would not suspect that she was out for his blood.

True to form, the queen’s request set Haman off and he went home to gloat about his “magnificence” (Esther 5: 9-13). He had his own gallows made on the advice of his wife, not realizing that the scriptures had warned him not to touch the Lord’s anointed and to do his prophets no harm (Esther 5: 10). Meantime, we see the results of Esther’s intercession as the Lord began to prepare the king to grant her request (Esther 6). God did in one night what Esther would not have accomplished in a lifetime. Am I encouraging somebody? When you accede to God, you are preparing the way for deliverance. Ps 50: 23 says that “whoso offereth praise glorifieth me: and to him that ordereth his conversation aright will I shew the salvation of God”. Did Esther worship? Yes she did when she gave God the right to intervene in her situation. She was exalting Him over her own ability and over any other power.

When you read Esther 7, you will see how Esther skillfully presented the problem before her husband. His curiosity was very aroused and he himself broached the issue. God had already prepared the way for deliverance by giving her favor and by causing him to remember the goodness of her cousin Mordecai. She was a diplomat, presenting the problem before naming the accuser. She leaned heavily on his favor, taking him fully at his word that her petition would be granted, even if she asked for half of his kingdom. He was ready to share his resources equally with her. I hope you are reading into Esther and applying the principles to your own life.

You cannot just rush headlong into asking your husband for some momentous favor without preparing with prayer, fasting and worship.

You need to ask for divine strategies and ask the Lord to show you how to present the issue, even as Esther did. Hers was a well thought out and rehearsed plea. Maybe she had paced the floors the previous night in order to get it down pat. Maybe  the words came out of her mouth at the instruction of the Holy Spirit. I can only surmise what took place.

There is something about Esther’s approach to the king that the Lord showed me a few years ago. It is a picture of worship. When she appeared in the inner court, she was dressed in her royal garments, representing the royal priesthood, the peculiar people. Stood in the place of the sacrifice of praise, in the inner court, looking into the holiest of holies where the king sat. The scepter represented his authority and he stretched it out, not in anger, but in acceptance, even as we can come boldly before the throne of grace to find mercy in the time of need.

In relation to marriage, do you see your husband as a king and worthy of the respect and honor that you would give to God.

When seeking a favor, do you approach him in the manner of Esther, in a worshipping stance, or do you treat him as an insignificant person, someone with whom you just can’t bother much?

I want to show the similarity between Ruth and Esther’s approach to their men. When Ruth went down into the threshing floor, she prepared herself by washing, anointing herself and donning an attractive dress. She was not going to entice Boaz sexually, but to seek his hand in marriage. It was now or when? She too, got into the presence of the king, laying at his feet in submission. Can you see the picture of the believer coming in to the presence of the Lord? We must be washed, anointed and dressed in the garments of righteousness. Esther too was anointed as we learn from the purification before her marriage. The other virgins went through the routines, and were just as beautiful (possibly), but she excelled them all because of the anointing on her life. She was the one who brought the evidence of the anointing that had the effect on the king as spoken of in Isa 58 and 6. This is what he wanted to keep for the rest of his life.

Paul wrote to some believers on the issue of them being sweet-smelling savor to the world. Do you know that those believers who reflect the Lord are sweet, not in a sickly, pretensive way, but genuinely endearing and lovely? This sounds crazy, but sometimes if you smell the human spirit, some of them smell stinky. Well, Esther and Ruth were beautiful fragrances. Women of God, how do we stand in light of the word?

Blessings and more to come on the woman who disobeyed her husband!